I have just re-read my previous post. and am forced to conclude it is sad, but true that I have a propensity for grumpiness, and it's also fair to say that this does not seem to be diminishing with age. However, I am generous in my grumpiness, and willingly spread my sense of abiding misery in all kinds of places about many things - family weddings, Christmas, most countries in the EU, the ambiance of the world's great cities, every theme park I have visited, but especially Disneyland Paris, on planes, trains, cycles, whilst driving, while being a passenger, when walking, or stuck in a queue, grumps about fellow humans and various fauna, about my countrymen, about foreigners, dogs, cats, dog-owners, Facebook cat lovers, pigeons, seagulls, horses, horse riders, people in the street, people on-line, the arty, the sporty, food fascists, food snobs, health freaks, the cultured, the uncultured, the semi-cultured, politicos, Tories, eco-warriors, the radical chic, champagne socialists.... I am proud to say that my grumpiness can at times reach Larkinesque levels of inclusivity, except I get really grumpy with people who use the word 'inclusive'. The abiding exception to this dolorous mindset is Italy, where I have never been anything else but blissfully happy.
I have often wondered why this is, and two bits of Italiana - if there is such a thing - that I came across over the past two days does, perhaps, hint at the reason.
Exhibit A
Nowhere else on earth would you get a bus company announcement that managed to combine the fanciful and literal, the ornate and banal as:
This slightly surreal aspect to social interaction in Italy, though probably infuriating for natives, comes across as disarmingly charming to fugitives from the north used to marketing gobbledygook. I assume 'lords travellers' more colloquially would be 'esteemed passengers'. No customer of Megabus or CrossCountry Trains would ever dream of being 'esteemed'; esteemed railways were phased out long ago. The best we can hope for is that we are valued customer whose needs have been fully met in accordance with ORR (Office of Rail Regulator) quality standards.
The other aspect of the Italian experience that puts a smile on your face is their capacity to perform even mundane and workaday tasks with a bit of style and panache. Take airport parking, the very words strike terror into the heart of the British traveller. Who has not been ignored, unhelped and generally disabused by the zombie operatives of Purple Parking? King Parking at Rome airport are quite another matter. Their 'meet the team' flash video is so infectious that you are tempted to drive to Rome airport just to meet them - Bravo!
So, I am looking forward to Monday 5th October when, if all goes to plan I will drive from the strictures of Switzerland into chaotic freedom of Italy, and all grumpiness will mysteriously evaporate. If gloom threatens, well, I'll just think of Mirko and his King Parking 'Squadra'. Go, on play the clip again, if you don't grin, then you are probably dead, and don't need anyone to park your car anyway.
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