Blimey!

Guess what? after years of planning, blimey, we've gorn and done it - last week we adopted a new family member.....

No, not Gill, I mean the as yet nameless large white addition to the family just behind her.

I have to admit I was a nervous wreck at the thought of driving the thing back from the place we bought it high up in the West Yorkshire Pennines all the way back home to Buxton in Derbyshire. Less than forty miles as the crow flies, but no way was I going to attempt the narrow twisting route across Holme Moss and the Woodhead Pass suggested by Muriel (she's our posh and slightly uppity sat-nav). Instead after much consultation with Google maps, street view, satellite view, our UK road atlas, GCHQ, Julian Assange, National Geographical and the ghost of Captain Scott we settled on a more leisurely route using the M62 and M60 motorways. If you live in Buxton, situated at over 1000 feet, there's no way you are gong to completely avoid twisty roads through the hills. So, my 'coup de grace: having survived being squashed between two enormous artics on the M62, avoiding prowling Darth Vader Audi's near Wilmslow and failing to rid North Cheshire of it's Bradley Wiggins wannabees on Macclesfield's many roundabouts, finally our new big white baby toddled its way across the 'Cat and Fiddle' to be tucked-up safely in a storage barn near Buxton.

What did I learn? That life in the slow lane can be very relaxing, especially if you have an automatic; that car drivers keep their distance and sheer size engenders a modicum of respect even from boy racers; that flat out you can only expect to manage a sedate 55mph; that we're going to have some serious fun with our new big toy, and that we have a lot to learn.

You have to ask yourself, who exactly would shoot, then post on Youtube a detailed instructional video of how to empty a Thetford chemical toilet system? Bogman, I am eternally grateful to you, even if you are weird. The sanitary attangements are just the start of it, what about the 'habitation' electrics, the Truma heating system, the omni-directional TV antenae or the wind-out awning the size of a greengrocers's shopfront. I can't wait to get to grips with it all. Right now though, the best we could manage was a Sunday drive down to a local car-park, where we sat in the van and went through a stack of instructional booklets and felt a bit bewildered, and a lot smug....

Next challenge, a weekend away.